Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Just one of those days...

Have you ever had a day where nothing really went terribly wrong, but little things just piled up and you just felt defeated by the end? That was my day yesterday. Just a bad day, I guess.

My husband emailed me yesterday morning to tell me that one of Sophie's CIs wasn't working. Her babysitter had called mid-morning to tell him about the problem. After troubleshooting, her CI still wasn't working, so I figured she was just going to have to make it through the day with one ear. (Jared was going to try to leave his office in the afternoon to fix the problem, but never got a chance to.)

In the midst of all of this, I spent my lunch break hurriedly making half a dozen phone calls to find a genetic counselor that is covered by our insurance. (Have I mentioned that the people at Anthem know me by name?)  I *think* I may have found one, but neither Anthem or the doctor's office could guarantee that our visit will be covered.  "It all depends on how the claim is submitted." Nice. Plus, this geneticist lives out of state and only comes to St. Louis once a month. Therefore, we are looking at an appointment in late spring/early summer. Oh well, at least that ball is rolling.

Now comes the worst part of my day. I picked Sophie up at the babysitter's house and she was not wearing her other CI. Both were off and had basically been off all day long! WHAT?! I was pretty much livid and could hardly hold back tears as I put Sophie in the car. Our babysitter said that she was having problems with the other CI and that she took it off shortly after she spoke with Jared. If I would have known this, I would have left work immediately. I was just so upset that Sophie went without sound for almost eight hours straight. I guess it's my own fault for not calling and checking in with her, but I just figured there would be no problems with the other CI.

I should mention that we absolutely love Sophie's babysitter and she has been doing a great job with everything so far. She was a trooper with her hearing aids and has been doing a great job with the CIs. She loves Sophie and also wants what is best for her. I just don't understand what happened yesterday because one of Sophie's CIs was working fine when we got home. Of course, I started to freak out a bit and think that maybe Sophie is never wearing her CIs during the day. How would we know? I started to feel like I was failing her by working full-time and having someone else take care of her all day long. One thing just kept leading to another and I had all these frustrating thoughts going through my head.

No matter how well Sophie is doing, sometimes the reality of her hearing loss comes to a head and feels like a slap in the face. And I know these days will happen, it is inevitable.

I feel better today. I had a nice talk with Sophie's babysitter (she initiated, I didn't even have to) and I feel reassured. She understands that Sophie's CIs are a part of her and are the very key to her success. She also convinced me that they are on all of the time except when napping. I think yesterday was just a fluke and will hopefully not happen again.

On a positive note, the weather was absolutely beautiful today in St. Louis. 70 degrees and sunny! Quite the change considering we still had several inches of snow and ice on the ground a few days ago. Sophie and I went for a nice long walk when we got home today. It was the first time we have been outside for more than a trip to the car since she has been "hearing". She kept pointing to all of the dogs that were barking (at Ollie) as we passed by. :)


  1. Isn't it crazy how everything seems to happen at once? and then we throw in the fact that our child has a hearing loss and for me, it always seems to be on these "all around bad" days that I choose to revive the news all over again. I think these days are needed though, to get it all out, and move on to the next day.

    I'm in love with your daughter's blue eyes! Heartbreaker indeed! : ) Hope the rest of your week is better!

  2. Sorry it was "one of those days" although they dont come around often they do tend to visit now & then :(
    I hope you got the Ci all figured out & working again & it sounds like the babysitter you have for sophie will continue to do a great job in watching her! Your lucky to have found someone who is so willing to accomodate her with the CI's! I havent left savannah for more than a few hrs with no one but my mom. Everybody is too scared or worried about having to take care of the hearing aides :(

    Im sorry to hear about finding it so hard to get a genetic counselling appt. I wish i could send you our counsellor (who is free @ works at the childrens hospital) so that you could get in sooner & didnt have to worry about insurance.Im sure the time will go quickly & the appt will be here before no time!

    Sophie is sooooo adorable!!!!!! i just LOVE those baby blues!!!!
    Not long till our girls are 1! scary isnt it! how quickly this year has gone, but how much we have gone through in that year!
    Hope your week is much better! x